I ran across this little project I started over a year ago and didn’t stick with (so unlike me…..NOT). I read through these posts that I think I was mainly writing for a couple of reasons.
A. To try and digest our new situation without bursting from the inside out.
B. Because my head was spinning and to be honest my heart was a bit achy for home while at the same time intrigued by our move, I am an outward processor and this blog was obviously my short-term and pulic therapy.
I am happy to announce I feel like we have all progressed to Phase Two . So allow me to recap our past year and all of its uppy downy twisty turny crapmazingness. Confusing right? I will be honest in saying that about two months after our move I was more depressed than I had ever been in my entire life…..scarey depressed. Looking back on this now oddly makes me smile a bit. I have come a long way. The culprit? DOWN TIME hands down the most cruel form of torture to my ADD soul. The pace of Portland is unlike the pace of the Midwest, remove a business that was about 90% of our life, a part time job, social events, whatever family time was left and put me on an 8 hour work day without my kids around this amounted to 16 hours a with NO plans, then put the one friend/husband I had (Dave) on night shift and BAM this all equal BLAH LAND….Talking to yourself out loud, crying mushy gushy homesick tears and basically going Bat Shit Crazy and LONELINESS pure unadulterated LONELINESS. Just about the time I recovered and my boys arrived to FINALLY join us….it hit Benjamin and the darkness followed him around for about the same time frame…2 months of feeling so blue his bones ached. Simon had some teary moments and was emotionally jumbled……All the while Dave kept kickin'(I am so very unworthy of a Dave, and sweet anchory even keel Dave…..The best kind of Dave).
My job sucked, my pay offer was readjusted to less due to a mistake, getting to work with no parking was challenging it seriously felt like every time I took a step out side there was a big juicy turd laying in wait for me to stomp in. All the while we had turned into some amazing tourism whores and started out and about the Pacific Northwest trying to make the most of the rare occasion we were all together at the same time, we divorced our GPS…….and then came something beautiful……..BALANCE.
Flash forward to present…… Simon and Ben are socialites, Bailey and Oliver (our squishy grandson) have come to visit several times and school is in full swing for everyone in our entire house. Dave has returned for his Master’s Degree in accounting, Myself for a Master’s in Nursing, Benjamin is rocking out his Junior year and Simon will be a Freshman in the fall. We are all on a schedule and taking turns pairing off to make plans for the upcoming weekends and planning dates for Bailey to visit so there was always something to look forward to, time allowing, and can I say praise the LAWRD for SKYPE…..finally the feeling of “WE GOT THIS” has remained steady.
SOOOOOOO here’s to selling off a beloved business and most all worldly possessions, appearing crazy to yourself and the world, leaving behind friends, family, jobs, hometowns and social lives and stumbling into a world of growth, beauty, self-discovery, new adventures, bad burgers, nature……..p.s. and by the way the dark cloud that tried to conquer all of us when we moved can now officially suck it….we are here to stay!